3 Painful Mistakes You Make Trying to Get Men to Commit to You

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50 Comments

  • Stephanie

    Reply Reply April 29, 2016

    This was my favorite video so far it was filled with such great wisdom. In the process of asserting my boundaries in dating since the year began it’s been interesting to see how men respond. Finally, mistake number three struck a chord. Thank you.

    • WOLF

      Reply Reply April 29, 2016

      I love it when women are open to what they look for as I respond to that well as it tells me what they expect and want from me so I can maybe provide it for them.

  • Katrijn

    Reply Reply April 29, 2016

    Again inspiring and straightforwarded. You get a waw. Thank you again.

  • WOLF

    Reply Reply April 29, 2016

    I have had some women tell me straight what they want from me or what they expect and some seem like they don’t know what they want from a guy.

  • yvie

    Reply Reply April 30, 2016

    Fantastic advice, Adam is always spot on and like that fact he shares mens secrets with us , keep it going Adam, Women like me need you! xx

  • Lavern

    Reply Reply May 2, 2016

    Great advice. It truly helps.

  • Meg

    Reply Reply May 4, 2016

    I can admit that i am guilty of two of the three in the latest video. Right now I am seeing someone casually. We have been intimate already but I want to see where it goes. Can I tell him the statement or is it too late?

  • Tina

    Reply Reply May 7, 2016

    Guilty of running away, guilty of pushing a guy away without even realizing what I was doing, but I learned from my mistakes and I have been open and honest for quite a while now. I even use very similar lines like the ones from this video lol. But I still haven’t found someone real… I’m in danger of becoming a female Pilgrim soon :-/

  • Ani

    Reply Reply May 13, 2016

    Absolutely guilty of mistake number 3! I Guilty as charged! This is amazing insight! Please keep up the fantastic work! I have been seeing a guy for over a year and we already had sex many times. We like each other, but do not really make it work. He said he is not looking for a relationship, but then uses the word girlfriend around me all the time and I know he likes me. I am scared to ask not to get hurt, but those 4 sentences are just perfect!!!

    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

  • Rachel

    Reply Reply May 20, 2016

    Love hearing your realistic and common sense approach to all your advice, Adam!

    I’m interested in this guy…. We got physical pretty early on, which is completely outside of my character. I don’t regret it, and am interested in continuing. He sometimes gives me hints that he’s not in it for sex, but sometimes I’m just not sure. He spends time with me and my kids sometimes during the day, but doesn’t seem interested in being physical in public. The situation is complicated because we started this “secret relationship” before I became his tenant…so, he has professionalism to maintain. Plus, my ex hangs around, and I feel he doesn’t want to show affection in front of him for fear of messing up that friendship. Furthermore, I don’t believe his dad would approve (who lives nearby), as my ex talked to him and started drama before my guy and I ever hooked up.

    HELP!!

  • Lexi K.

    Reply Reply May 28, 2016

    LOVED THIS VIDEO!!! it really showed me what not to do and what mistakes I may have made in the past. I really think that the script is something that is perfect to say to someone who you just aren’t sure about. I loved this . Thanks for sharing and helping us ladies with getting our people to commit!

    • Pat

      Reply Reply August 27, 2016

      Guess I missed something. I still don’t get what men want

  • Wharton

    Reply Reply May 31, 2016

    I’ve made a couple of those mistakes and there I hear from you I’m learning . I will be honest but take all the time I need to get to know someone.

  • Kim

    Reply Reply June 1, 2016

    All we have to do to get on the early bird list is comment here?! 🙂

  • Robin

    Reply Reply June 27, 2016

    Hi I missed this last week.. Ugg can I please get in this week for the video..

  • Olga

    Reply Reply August 5, 2016

    Thank you so much for posting these videos! We, women, need to understand men’s mindset before entering into a relationship. 🙂

  • Camilla

    Reply Reply August 26, 2016

    Hi I just started seeing a guy and we have so many similarities that’s kinda scary so but he told me that he wants to take it really slow and I respect that I’m in the same place in my life I was actually stopped seeing and dating men befor he came along so but he just got out of q relationship 6 months ago and I feel like the cuts are still really fresh but he asked me to come over and spend the weekend whit him I’m going because I actually like being whit him but I don’t know if I’m just wasting my time ore if it could be something amazing???? Please help 👍🏼👎🏼

  • Pat

    Reply Reply August 27, 2016

    What do men value in a woman exactly? I don’t want to be hiis mother. What do they really want? How do you make him EARN you?

  • Jennifer

    Reply Reply August 31, 2016

    Adam I just honestly told a guy that I have slight feelings for him and he said he feels that there is more than physical with us however when we spoke about it again in person he said hes still not ready is this the type I should avoid, were just really good friends but he keeps making excuses and I feel is scared

  • Bee

    Reply Reply September 9, 2016

    Adam, thank you very much for sharing your insights with us. In the beginning, I was in a casual relationship with him and upon his request to become exclusive, i took my time to commit. Now, after a few months of exclusivity we are at a time, where i would like to know what the future holds for us in terms of meeting each others friends or families, and in having multiple dialogues with him about it, some direct to others indirect, the answer i always receive is: idk, maybe, haven’t thought about it, etc. I am very confused where this puts me, and what kind of dialogue, i should have with him to get a clear answer. And, if he is giving me a clear answer, which i am not able to decipher, then i am unclear what it is, can you please help?

  • Vanessa

    Reply Reply September 23, 2016

    Loved this video!!! I’ve made the mistake of sleeping with the man I thought wanted to be with me for the rest of my life. After he said this to me and said he was wrong we broke up. He contacted me and said he wanted to be friends. Now that we are friends I see I definitely want more from him. Now I’m going to tell him so by using the words from this video and if he says no still then I know I have to move on and drop the friendship because he wants the benefits still.

  • Barbara

    Reply Reply October 7, 2016

    Wow. I’ve made so many mistakes. Trying to make it short. I was total shut down for 30 years. Met someone 14 months ago and fell head over hills in love. I love him so much i hurt. I’ve pour my heart out totally layed it open. Never been so scared and hurt in my life. Am I exspecting too much too soon? He says all we have is what we’ve got at the moment. Sex 1-2 times a week missing a week here and there. No dating. No regular routine at all. He can go days without even a Tex. But, if I Tex he responds immediately Has always been kind and considerate always sweet What do I do. I am tired of crying and trying to decide how to handle thing. He Tex me yesterday morning, which he used to do every morning but stopped I havnt Tex him or reached out to him since I Tex make yesterday. I’ve been told to give him space if it’s meant to be he will show up, then I’ve been told to keep sound as I have. But if anything, I hear and see him less since I’ve tried to talk with him. Please help

  • Michell Tola

    Reply Reply October 13, 2016

    Can’t wait for the launch!

  • Ruth

    Reply Reply November 23, 2016

    Hi Adam,
    I think I found out about you from Marnie Batista and Christian Carter. In any case, I am glad I did. I am a 54 year old women who was married for 25 years. My son is 27 (6) years out of college, working and engaged. And, my daughter is 21 years old, a senior in college. Your video’s are very helpful and informative to someone like me (old school). This is not an easy process @ my age; trying to find a normal handsome smart, sane guy to date. I keep falling into the same pattern of nice guys, but no excitement or attraction.

    I have been divorced for 4 years, and have been on Mach.com, and various other sites. There was one guy who I fell for three years ago, and never quite got over him. He pursued me initially, and said he wanted to see me twice a week. The minute I started to become vulnerable and open my heart, he dumped me. And of course after we became intimate, he did not pursue me any longer. He did follow-up with me after a month in a half later, and I was not very nice to him. I was hurt. I realized, I did not give him enough of a chase, and I beat myself up for it all the time. I have dated many men, and could have been married three times, but I don’t want to settle.

    Your video’s help me, because the things we learned about dating still apply in the 21st century. I especially like your candor.

    So thank you for again for your wisdom, and informative insight. I have signed up for your Blueprint program.

  • Erika Escobedo

    Reply Reply December 5, 2016

    Im guilty of every single one of those mistakes multiple times. As, i was watching this video, i was laughing because everything you said made sense & i laughed because I’m guilty as charged. This helps me get a different perspective. & you help me by reminding me that somethings take time. I have a habit of rushing things and I’m fully aware that it’s not going to give me the results i am seeking for. Does age have anything to do with impatiency? Any tips on how to put my walls down, i admit i am an extremely guarded person, & i want to learn how to be vulnerable but i don’t know where to start. I am, also, fully aware that it is not going to be easy. Watching your videos has help me build up my self-esteem. Thank you, Adam.

  • Brenda

    Reply Reply December 8, 2016

    Does no contact work if/ when beginning of relationship? Bit confused. Recently I have began to go back into dating scene. Long story short is I met a man online. We texted, sexted, as well spoke on the phone. We met and there was immediate attraction mentally and physically between us both. No bars held. Fireworks, to all areas. Next morning after we woke up, did the deed again, we went for breakfast. Came back to my place he hugged me as well kissed passionately. He lives 4 hours away and had to go back for work. Later that day he texted and said thank you for a wonderful evening. Hoped I had a good shift at work. Etc. Next morning he texted saying he was coming back to my city to see me. He drove half way, and then bam no show. For 2 days I wondered began to worry for I heard nothing from him. That was tough. Then 3 rd day in, he was online checking my profile out, sometimes 3 times a day everyday. Then he would disappear for 2 to 3 days again, back online checking me out. Tomorrow will be 3 weeks of absolutely no contact on my behalf. We are both older. But he has me confused, we both really liked each other. Not sure what to do, If it was only one night stand, then how can 2 people be so passionate with each other, deeply from touch, kiss making love etc. Then mixed signals from him. Help please Why does he still continue to check my profle out? Uggh

  • Michelle

    Reply Reply January 2, 2017

    This Video really helps me because there are guys in my school that are either Type A which is majority and some boys in my class are so Intelligent and Some guys in my class are Type B and they are srsly majority of the boys are after me because I’m intelligent like themm…

  • Michelle

    Reply Reply January 2, 2017

    I did all of these mistakes when I like a guy and he used to like me and He think about me a lot the thing is I made a huge mistake… I said I have no feeling for him…

  • Debra Kitchen

    Reply Reply January 4, 2017

    Hi Adam love your teachings they help so much
    To understand myself as well as learning about
    The mind set of the male. I’ve been in a long distance relationship with my guy for 16 months
    He has asked me to marry him but he wanted to come back to the states he has now left an is back in the states an says he is working on coming to meet me but he keeps disappearing I told him my feelings I’ve just listened to you about setting my boundaries I’m not going to continue giving an not
    getting what all I need im going to use what I’ve learned ill let you know how it goes thank you

  • Jane

    Reply Reply January 16, 2017

    Your tips have been very helpful in identifying the type of men I draw to me. However I met a guy in November. We met for dinner then another time walks on beach. Then outdoor event. All just hugs at end of spending time together, Then it all changed. I had a bad back. He promised to give me massage [professional in beginning] then a little kiss led to more. Now we have a different connection. I don’t know how to navigate this. Didn’t spend holidays or new years eve together. What direction to go. Help ! J

  • Hope

    Reply Reply February 4, 2017

    Thanks, Adam, another one that’s so bang on…pun unintended, of course!

  • Apl

    Reply Reply March 14, 2017

    Enjoyed video this so describe myself been together off and on with someone for 2years of course now I love him how ever he is now distant said you know what this is like it or leave it find myself waiting on him because of my feelings for him, pretty much know he is seeing others however I can’t let go I feel we are great for each other just wished and want him to realize this, what can I do to open that door? I honestly feel we are meant to be together, I don’t want to lose him

  • Kaylynne Calhoun

    Reply Reply April 18, 2017

    I have made all three mistakes. The latest and greatest mistake I made was I pushed him away by trying to fill in space AND I assumed that because he was pursuing me that he wanted to commit to me. Ironically, after I suddenly said goodbye, he has started texting me and even calling me “woman”. Expressing his confusion and frustration while still trying to talk to me, although he is still trying to force his timeline and convenience on me. Needless to say, he is still displaying inconsistency. He was Mr. Mind-F*ck, which I seem to like that kind of guy because I think all of my ex’s fall into that category. These videos continuously help me realize the very subtle errors I kept making over and over again. Thank you so much! I am determined to NOT make those mistakes ever again!!!!

  • alma

    Reply Reply April 27, 2017

    now Im a little confused!! Do I say it or not?? about to take action on a guy that I been talking or better say been a phone bodies for long 7 months after watching your amazing videos and follow your advise Realized He is Mr. Mind Fck

  • Paul

    Reply Reply June 2, 2017

    This video is a Little upsetting. Its like She stated her boundaries only when he tried to sleep with her. I think this should Be set Lon before ever going home with him. Of course he assumed She was slutty If She went to his place after a nb of days. He thought She was ready.
    Girls should mention in a normal, simple way what type of relationship they want before getting in a position where they could sleep with then.
    The reason is some guya bate sexual rejection and might even try to convince You or force You to do something. IT happened to me. He slammed me to the floor when I said I want something serious and not just sex. Told me I should wake up that the real women know what they want, not what society wants and became violent.

    Be sure to state your boundaries before ending up to his place, girlfriend or not. There are many dangerous men outhere. And unless You know that You can Kick his așa instead, stat safe first. And You would earn even more respect and he will not assume that You are using the possibility of having sex with him to manipulate him.
    Thank You and I Hope for some insightful repliez.

  • Hopeless

    Reply Reply June 28, 2017

    I love all your videos and they have helped me understand past mistakes. However, I made the biggest mistake possible and knew it when I did it. I slept with a guy too early that I seriously liked before sleeping with him. My excuse was just that and excuse but clouded my judgement. ” I just wanted to feel again! ” I have had soo many horrible n horrifying relationships in the past that I was starting to feel numb. Now I feel him pulling away. I am trying to stop pursuing him by not texting or calling him first and following by not making my return text too personal or lengthy. He does text late mornings, after not hearing from me, telling me good morning. But the good mornings r getting later and later and texts r getting less and less. I feel I may have lost a good thing. 😟 Please do you have any advise, even if it is something I really don’t want to hear.

  • Diana

    Reply Reply July 24, 2017

    Thanks for this video Adam… I have made a lot of mistakes and that’s why I think he pulled away and started to flake so I tried to be honest with this guy to see what happens next, but if he is not interested anymore then the best I can do is let him go for my own good.

  • Erikka Jones

    Reply Reply September 5, 2017

    I made mistakes 1 and 2

  • Uche Uguru

    Reply Reply September 25, 2017

    You haven’t just improved my approach to dating but also my overall approach to life. Thank you for not listening to your buddies who wanted you not to do this for the women folk

  • Leenie

    Reply Reply December 6, 2017

    I always grab too hard and push for too much. Right now I am learning to take a step back and give room, but it is very hard. Hopefully I didn’t ruin what was a very good friendship.

  • Ann

    Reply Reply December 19, 2017

    I don’t sleep around, however the guys I meet pick on me and say I’m cool since I don’t smoke or drink but go out dancing and drink coke or something. They are surprised but nothing ever happens. I don’t get it.

  • Ann

    Reply Reply December 19, 2017

    It always seems to be the friend zone. Perhaps they are all wrong even though they drink and party.

  • Linda

    Reply Reply February 4, 2018

    I’m seeing a guy, but it’s one of them that says “don’t catch any feelings here” I think he’s been hurt .
    I don’t know I just don’t go anywhere to meet people so this is easy.
    I’m 57 years old and I’m not bad looking, I think I have a vey easy going personality, but never meet the guy that wants me for me. It’s always for pleasure.
    I am learning a lot from your videos so maybe things will change…

  • Shirley

    Reply Reply February 11, 2018

    Hi Adam I am already in a committed relationship for the past 18 years. However I came across your videos and I’ve found them really interesting. I love watching them because they inspire me to continue working on my relationship and have shown me how lucky I am to have my husband. Thanks much and continue to inspire all those single ladies.

  • Christina L Lampley

    Reply Reply March 13, 2018

    I made this mistake. Talking to a man I really love. And it felt I was chasing him. I let him know I wanted a relatiinship and he told me that relationship would never happen and he didn’t mean to hurt me yet he stated that he love me. I would never make that mistake again.

  • Ann

    Reply Reply March 14, 2018

    Dear Adam,

    Cant get enough of the videos! Kudos!!!

  • Leslie

    Reply Reply March 28, 2018

    Hi this is Leslie,

    I just want to know, do the “4 sentences to make him commit ” work on a guy if you have been in a 10 yr off & on relationship with 2 kids. And he asked to get married, but at the time you said no because you wasn’t ready then and you’re ready now but he’s not., after you made him feel less than a man & now he doesn’t trust you as far as making him feel like the man in the relationship?

  • Jan

    Reply Reply April 6, 2018

    Adam, thank you for your unselfishness and enthusiasm. Totally love your videos and advice they have been very helpful for someone with 4 sisters and 3 daughters who finds men a mystery. Thanks again, Jan

    • Jan

      Reply Reply April 6, 2018

      Jan again Adam. I am in a long distance friendship with a man who has a sick mother and father who passed three months ago. We have met once and continue to talk daily on the phone but I know he has a lot going on and I try to be his bright bit in the day. He often tells me he finds me interesting and calls me all sorts of cute names. We are 12 hours drive away from each other and I just would like a face to face again. We have heaps in common and talk a lot about them and each other a bit as well. I know I need to be patient and continue to be in the present for him in this situation. It’s hard.

  • Georgia

    Reply Reply April 7, 2018

    Hi Adam,
    My name is Georgia. I have learned and I am still learning from you about men and relationships. March 12, 2018 was the last time I seen or heard from a man who we both agreed in the beginning to “see each other and see where things might go”.
    For me he literally was everything on my checklist of what I wanted or was looking for in a man.
    I don’t even remember how I came across you and Sexy Confidence in YouTube but I started watching everything you had posted. I followed all your guidelines such as not always being available whenever he wanted me to be … Etc. I feel my doing the things that you suggested I did let that man know that I’m not just some every day average floosy that he could come and get with whenever he wanted. Eventually it was obvious that he didn’t want anything more than just plain sex. He had no other interests in me what so ever. I was a bit sad/hurt at first but then it was what I agree with and we just didn’t work out. The last I seen and heard from him was March 12, 2018. I allowed time to pass the next following week. I didn’t hear from him. Then I made the decision that if I didn’t hear from him the following week that I wasn’t contacting him. I would go back to the dating site. I did go back to the dating site. I was back in the dating site for not even a full week yet. I was not sending messages to any men. I was responding or not to the men who contacted me. The Friday night before the following Saturday, which would be a full week since joining the dating site again … I was responding back to men’s messages that I had gotten. There are pictures of others who are in the dating site as you go through page by page or to see who looked at your profile, etc…
    There was one man’s profile picture that popped up a few times. He looked like someone I’ve known or at least have met or seen in my life at some point. I literally just kept looking at the one picture this man had in his profile in the dating site. Finally I just typed a message to him saying “Who are you? Why do I feel I know you somehow?”
    I didn’t realize he was online and in the dating site or he got notice of my message on his phone but he answered back right away. There wasn’t anything that we could have met or known each other in the past or otherwise. He eventually asked if I’d be interested in hanging out sometime. Me, being one who yes I want someone to spend time with but no I’m not seriously looking for a serious relationship at this time … I said “Yes. I would love to get together with you and hangout sometime”.
    We ended up meeting each other in person this past Sunday afternoon ..
    Easter I believe it was, lol
    I went to his place after work the following Monday evening.
    Prior to us agreeing on spending time with each other in the future I let him know that if we were to sleep together that I wouldn’t be going to bed with any other men but him. He answered back saying that he’s not a player so we were both on the same page with that. Once we were intimate with each other that evening I brought up the fact of letting it be known that I wasn’t planning on staying at his place forever, lol
    He said that No. He wasn’t going to kick me out, lol … I think things have gone well between myself and this man. He and I are communicating with each other where as the last guy I was seeing, he and I had no such communication.
    I don’t know if I’m right or wrong with where I’ve been going with these past two men.
    Feel free to use my situations as examples if need be 😁

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