3 Painful Mistakes You Make Trying to Get Men to Commit to You

Want early access to the full program?

This video is part of the launch of my advanced program The Casual to Commitment Blueprint. Want to skip ahead of the line and get notified before everyone else? Join the Early Bird’s list below.

privacy We value your privacy and would never spam you



  • Stephanie

    Reply Reply April 29, 2016

    This was my favorite video so far it was filled with such great wisdom. In the process of asserting my boundaries in dating since the year began it’s been interesting to see how men respond. Finally, mistake number three struck a chord. Thank you.

    • WOLF

      Reply Reply April 29, 2016

      I love it when women are open to what they look for as I respond to that well as it tells me what they expect and want from me so I can maybe provide it for them.

      • Debi

        Reply Reply May 22, 2020

        Even when I know they are interested I lose they move on why

    • Sherry Holland

      Reply Reply July 3, 2018

      I agree so much great advice. It is insightful and inspiring.
      I love that Adam encourages importance of Self Worth and honesty and that it’s normal for both sexed to fear being hurt or rejected.
      Hearing Adams advice opened my eyes to reality of my past and current relationship.
      Thanks Adam and Community group

  • Katrijn

    Reply Reply April 29, 2016

    Again inspiring and straightforwarded. You get a waw. Thank you again.

  • WOLF

    Reply Reply April 29, 2016

    I have had some women tell me straight what they want from me or what they expect and some seem like they don’t know what they want from a guy.

  • yvie

    Reply Reply April 30, 2016

    Fantastic advice, Adam is always spot on and like that fact he shares mens secrets with us , keep it going Adam, Women like me need you! xx

  • Lavern

    Reply Reply May 2, 2016

    Great advice. It truly helps.

  • Meg

    Reply Reply May 4, 2016

    I can admit that i am guilty of two of the three in the latest video. Right now I am seeing someone casually. We have been intimate already but I want to see where it goes. Can I tell him the statement or is it too late?

  • Tina

    Reply Reply May 7, 2016

    Guilty of running away, guilty of pushing a guy away without even realizing what I was doing, but I learned from my mistakes and I have been open and honest for quite a while now. I even use very similar lines like the ones from this video lol. But I still haven’t found someone real… I’m in danger of becoming a female Pilgrim soon :-/

  • Ani

    Reply Reply May 13, 2016

    Absolutely guilty of mistake number 3! I Guilty as charged! This is amazing insight! Please keep up the fantastic work! I have been seeing a guy for over a year and we already had sex many times. We like each other, but do not really make it work. He said he is not looking for a relationship, but then uses the word girlfriend around me all the time and I know he likes me. I am scared to ask not to get hurt, but those 4 sentences are just perfect!!!

    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

  • Rachel

    Reply Reply May 20, 2016

    Love hearing your realistic and common sense approach to all your advice, Adam!

    I’m interested in this guy…. We got physical pretty early on, which is completely outside of my character. I don’t regret it, and am interested in continuing. He sometimes gives me hints that he’s not in it for sex, but sometimes I’m just not sure. He spends time with me and my kids sometimes during the day, but doesn’t seem interested in being physical in public. The situation is complicated because we started this “secret relationship” before I became his tenant…so, he has professionalism to maintain. Plus, my ex hangs around, and I feel he doesn’t want to show affection in front of him for fear of messing up that friendship. Furthermore, I don’t believe his dad would approve (who lives nearby), as my ex talked to him and started drama before my guy and I ever hooked up.


  • Lexi K.

    Reply Reply May 28, 2016

    LOVED THIS VIDEO!!! it really showed me what not to do and what mistakes I may have made in the past. I really think that the script is something that is perfect to say to someone who you just aren’t sure about. I loved this . Thanks for sharing and helping us ladies with getting our people to commit!

    • Pat

      Reply Reply August 27, 2016

      Guess I missed something. I still don’t get what men want

      • vicki

        Reply Reply August 12, 2018

        Pat, men want sex, don’t give it to them unless they are ready to commit to you. Unless that is you only want something casual with no substance.

  • Wharton

    Reply Reply May 31, 2016

    I’ve made a couple of those mistakes and there I hear from you I’m learning . I will be honest but take all the time I need to get to know someone.

  • Kim

    Reply Reply June 1, 2016

    All we have to do to get on the early bird list is comment here?! 🙂

  • Robin

    Reply Reply June 27, 2016

    Hi I missed this last week.. Ugg can I please get in this week for the video..

  • Olga

    Reply Reply August 5, 2016

    Thank you so much for posting these videos! We, women, need to understand men’s mindset before entering into a relationship. 🙂

  • Camilla

    Reply Reply August 26, 2016

    Hi I just started seeing a guy and we have so many similarities that’s kinda scary so but he told me that he wants to take it really slow and I respect that I’m in the same place in my life I was actually stopped seeing and dating men befor he came along so but he just got out of q relationship 6 months ago and I feel like the cuts are still really fresh but he asked me to come over and spend the weekend whit him I’m going because I actually like being whit him but I don’t know if I’m just wasting my time ore if it could be something amazing???? Please help 👍🏼👎🏼

  • Pat

    Reply Reply August 27, 2016

    What do men value in a woman exactly? I don’t want to be hiis mother. What do they really want? How do you make him EARN you?

  • Jennifer

    Reply Reply August 31, 2016

    Adam I just honestly told a guy that I have slight feelings for him and he said he feels that there is more than physical with us however when we spoke about it again in person he said hes still not ready is this the type I should avoid, were just really good friends but he keeps making excuses and I feel is scared

  • Bee

    Reply Reply September 9, 2016

    Adam, thank you very much for sharing your insights with us. In the beginning, I was in a casual relationship with him and upon his request to become exclusive, i took my time to commit. Now, after a few months of exclusivity we are at a time, where i would like to know what the future holds for us in terms of meeting each others friends or families, and in having multiple dialogues with him about it, some direct to others indirect, the answer i always receive is: idk, maybe, haven’t thought about it, etc. I am very confused where this puts me, and what kind of dialogue, i should have with him to get a clear answer. And, if he is giving me a clear answer, which i am not able to decipher, then i am unclear what it is, can you please help?

  • Vanessa

    Reply Reply September 23, 2016

    Loved this video!!! I’ve made the mistake of sleeping with the man I thought wanted to be with me for the rest of my life. After he said this to me and said he was wrong we broke up. He contacted me and said he wanted to be friends. Now that we are friends I see I definitely want more from him. Now I’m going to tell him so by using the words from this video and if he says no still then I know I have to move on and drop the friendship because he wants the benefits still.

  • Barbara

    Reply Reply October 7, 2016

    Wow. I’ve made so many mistakes. Trying to make it short. I was total shut down for 30 years. Met someone 14 months ago and fell head over hills in love. I love him so much i hurt. I’ve pour my heart out totally layed it open. Never been so scared and hurt in my life. Am I exspecting too much too soon? He says all we have is what we’ve got at the moment. Sex 1-2 times a week missing a week here and there. No dating. No regular routine at all. He can go days without even a Tex. But, if I Tex he responds immediately Has always been kind and considerate always sweet What do I do. I am tired of crying and trying to decide how to handle thing. He Tex me yesterday morning, which he used to do every morning but stopped I havnt Tex him or reached out to him since I Tex make yesterday. I’ve been told to give him space if it’s meant to be he will show up, then I’ve been told to keep sound as I have. But if anything, I hear and see him less since I’ve tried to talk with him. Please help

  • Michell Tola

    Reply Reply October 13, 2016

    Can’t wait for the launch!

  • Ruth

    Reply Reply November 23, 2016

    Hi Adam,
    I think I found out about you from Marnie Batista and Christian Carter. In any case, I am glad I did. I am a 54 year old women who was married for 25 years. My son is 27 (6) years out of college, working and engaged. And, my daughter is 21 years old, a senior in college. Your video’s are very helpful and informative to someone like me (old school). This is not an easy process @ my age; trying to find a normal handsome smart, sane guy to date. I keep falling into the same pattern of nice guys, but no excitement or attraction.

    I have been divorced for 4 years, and have been on Mach.com, and various other sites. There was one guy who I fell for three years ago, and never quite got over him. He pursued me initially, and said he wanted to see me twice a week. The minute I started to become vulnerable and open my heart, he dumped me. And of course after we became intimate, he did not pursue me any longer. He did follow-up with me after a month in a half later, and I was not very nice to him. I was hurt. I realized, I did not give him enough of a chase, and I beat myself up for it all the time. I have dated many men, and could have been married three times, but I don’t want to settle.

    Your video’s help me, because the things we learned about dating still apply in the 21st century. I especially like your candor.

    So thank you for again for your wisdom, and informative insight. I have signed up for your Blueprint program.

  • Erika Escobedo

    Reply Reply December 5, 2016

    Im guilty of every single one of those mistakes multiple times. As, i was watching this video, i was laughing because everything you said made sense & i laughed because I’m guilty as charged. This helps me get a different perspective. & you help me by reminding me that somethings take time. I have a habit of rushing things and I’m fully aware that it’s not going to give me the results i am seeking for. Does age have anything to do with impatiency? Any tips on how to put my walls down, i admit i am an extremely guarded person, & i want to learn how to be vulnerable but i don’t know where to start. I am, also, fully aware that it is not going to be easy. Watching your videos has help me build up my self-esteem. Thank you, Adam.

  • Brenda

    Reply Reply December 8, 2016

    Does no contact work if/ when beginning of relationship? Bit confused. Recently I have began to go back into dating scene. Long story short is I met a man online. We texted, sexted, as well spoke on the phone. We met and there was immediate attraction mentally and physically between us both. No bars held. Fireworks, to all areas. Next morning after we woke up, did the deed again, we went for breakfast. Came back to my place he hugged me as well kissed passionately. He lives 4 hours away and had to go back for work. Later that day he texted and said thank you for a wonderful evening. Hoped I had a good shift at work. Etc. Next morning he texted saying he was coming back to my city to see me. He drove half way, and then bam no show. For 2 days I wondered began to worry for I heard nothing from him. That was tough. Then 3 rd day in, he was online checking my profile out, sometimes 3 times a day everyday. Then he would disappear for 2 to 3 days again, back online checking me out. Tomorrow will be 3 weeks of absolutely no contact on my behalf. We are both older. But he has me confused, we both really liked each other. Not sure what to do, If it was only one night stand, then how can 2 people be so passionate with each other, deeply from touch, kiss making love etc. Then mixed signals from him. Help please Why does he still continue to check my profle out? Uggh

  • Michelle

    Reply Reply January 2, 2017

    This Video really helps me because there are guys in my school that are either Type A which is majority and some boys in my class are so Intelligent and Some guys in my class are Type B and they are srsly majority of the boys are after me because I’m intelligent like themm…

  • Michelle

    Reply Reply January 2, 2017

    I did all of these mistakes when I like a guy and he used to like me and He think about me a lot the thing is I made a huge mistake… I said I have no feeling for him…

  • Debra Kitchen

    Reply Reply January 4, 2017

    Hi Adam love your teachings they help so much
    To understand myself as well as learning about
    The mind set of the male. I’ve been in a long distance relationship with my guy for 16 months
    He has asked me to marry him but he wanted to come back to the states he has now left an is back in the states an says he is working on coming to meet me but he keeps disappearing I told him my feelings I’ve just listened to you about setting my boundaries I’m not going to continue giving an not
    getting what all I need im going to use what I’ve learned ill let you know how it goes thank you

  • Jane

    Reply Reply January 16, 2017

    Your tips have been very helpful in identifying the type of men I draw to me. However I met a guy in November. We met for dinner then another time walks on beach. Then outdoor event. All just hugs at end of spending time together, Then it all changed. I had a bad back. He promised to give me massage [professional in beginning] then a little kiss led to more. Now we have a different connection. I don’t know how to navigate this. Didn’t spend holidays or new years eve together. What direction to go. Help ! J

  • Hope

    Reply Reply February 4, 2017

    Thanks, Adam, another one that’s so bang on…pun unintended, of course!

  • Apl

    Reply Reply March 14, 2017

    Enjoyed video this so describe myself been together off and on with someone for 2years of course now I love him how ever he is now distant said you know what this is like it or leave it find myself waiting on him because of my feelings for him, pretty much know he is seeing others however I can’t let go I feel we are great for each other just wished and want him to realize this, what can I do to open that door? I honestly feel we are meant to be together, I don’t want to lose him

  • Kaylynne Calhoun

    Reply Reply April 18, 2017

    I have made all three mistakes. The latest and greatest mistake I made was I pushed him away by trying to fill in space AND I assumed that because he was pursuing me that he wanted to commit to me. Ironically, after I suddenly said goodbye, he has started texting me and even calling me “woman”. Expressing his confusion and frustration while still trying to talk to me, although he is still trying to force his timeline and convenience on me. Needless to say, he is still displaying inconsistency. He was Mr. Mind-F*ck, which I seem to like that kind of guy because I think all of my ex’s fall into that category. These videos continuously help me realize the very subtle errors I kept making over and over again. Thank you so much! I am determined to NOT make those mistakes ever again!!!!

  • alma

    Reply Reply April 27, 2017

    now Im a little confused!! Do I say it or not?? about to take action on a guy that I been talking or better say been a phone bodies for long 7 months after watching your amazing videos and follow your advise Realized He is Mr. Mind Fck

  • Paul

    Reply Reply June 2, 2017

    This video is a Little upsetting. Its like She stated her boundaries only when he tried to sleep with her. I think this should Be set Lon before ever going home with him. Of course he assumed She was slutty If She went to his place after a nb of days. He thought She was ready.
    Girls should mention in a normal, simple way what type of relationship they want before getting in a position where they could sleep with then.
    The reason is some guya bate sexual rejection and might even try to convince You or force You to do something. IT happened to me. He slammed me to the floor when I said I want something serious and not just sex. Told me I should wake up that the real women know what they want, not what society wants and became violent.

    Be sure to state your boundaries before ending up to his place, girlfriend or not. There are many dangerous men outhere. And unless You know that You can Kick his așa instead, stat safe first. And You would earn even more respect and he will not assume that You are using the possibility of having sex with him to manipulate him.
    Thank You and I Hope for some insightful repliez.

  • Hopeless

    Reply Reply June 28, 2017

    I love all your videos and they have helped me understand past mistakes. However, I made the biggest mistake possible and knew it when I did it. I slept with a guy too early that I seriously liked before sleeping with him. My excuse was just that and excuse but clouded my judgement. ” I just wanted to feel again! ” I have had soo many horrible n horrifying relationships in the past that I was starting to feel numb. Now I feel him pulling away. I am trying to stop pursuing him by not texting or calling him first and following by not making my return text too personal or lengthy. He does text late mornings, after not hearing from me, telling me good morning. But the good mornings r getting later and later and texts r getting less and less. I feel I may have lost a good thing. 😟 Please do you have any advise, even if it is something I really don’t want to hear.

  • Diana

    Reply Reply July 24, 2017

    Thanks for this video Adam… I have made a lot of mistakes and that’s why I think he pulled away and started to flake so I tried to be honest with this guy to see what happens next, but if he is not interested anymore then the best I can do is let him go for my own good.

  • Erikka Jones

    Reply Reply September 5, 2017

    I made mistakes 1 and 2

  • Uche Uguru

    Reply Reply September 25, 2017

    You haven’t just improved my approach to dating but also my overall approach to life. Thank you for not listening to your buddies who wanted you not to do this for the women folk

  • Leenie

    Reply Reply December 6, 2017

    I always grab too hard and push for too much. Right now I am learning to take a step back and give room, but it is very hard. Hopefully I didn’t ruin what was a very good friendship.

  • Ann

    Reply Reply December 19, 2017

    I don’t sleep around, however the guys I meet pick on me and say I’m cool since I don’t smoke or drink but go out dancing and drink coke or something. They are surprised but nothing ever happens. I don’t get it.

  • Ann

    Reply Reply December 19, 2017

    It always seems to be the friend zone. Perhaps they are all wrong even though they drink and party.

    • Torkwase Iwambe

      Reply Reply December 30, 2020

      I appreciate you are doing a great work on me, I and my guy are getting more closely the only problem we have is his family members are

  • Linda

    Reply Reply February 4, 2018

    I’m seeing a guy, but it’s one of them that says “don’t catch any feelings here” I think he’s been hurt .
    I don’t know I just don’t go anywhere to meet people so this is easy.
    I’m 57 years old and I’m not bad looking, I think I have a vey easy going personality, but never meet the guy that wants me for me. It’s always for pleasure.
    I am learning a lot from your videos so maybe things will change…

  • Shirley

    Reply Reply February 11, 2018

    Hi Adam I am already in a committed relationship for the past 18 years. However I came across your videos and I’ve found them really interesting. I love watching them because they inspire me to continue working on my relationship and have shown me how lucky I am to have my husband. Thanks much and continue to inspire all those single ladies.

  • Christina L Lampley

    Reply Reply March 13, 2018

    I made this mistake. Talking to a man I really love. And it felt I was chasing him. I let him know I wanted a relatiinship and he told me that relationship would never happen and he didn’t mean to hurt me yet he stated that he love me. I would never make that mistake again.

  • Ann

    Reply Reply March 14, 2018

    Dear Adam,

    Cant get enough of the videos! Kudos!!!

  • Leslie

    Reply Reply March 28, 2018

    Hi this is Leslie,

    I just want to know, do the “4 sentences to make him commit ” work on a guy if you have been in a 10 yr off & on relationship with 2 kids. And he asked to get married, but at the time you said no because you wasn’t ready then and you’re ready now but he’s not., after you made him feel less than a man & now he doesn’t trust you as far as making him feel like the man in the relationship?

  • Jan

    Reply Reply April 6, 2018

    Adam, thank you for your unselfishness and enthusiasm. Totally love your videos and advice they have been very helpful for someone with 4 sisters and 3 daughters who finds men a mystery. Thanks again, Jan

    • Jan

      Reply Reply April 6, 2018

      Jan again Adam. I am in a long distance friendship with a man who has a sick mother and father who passed three months ago. We have met once and continue to talk daily on the phone but I know he has a lot going on and I try to be his bright bit in the day. He often tells me he finds me interesting and calls me all sorts of cute names. We are 12 hours drive away from each other and I just would like a face to face again. We have heaps in common and talk a lot about them and each other a bit as well. I know I need to be patient and continue to be in the present for him in this situation. It’s hard.

  • Georgia

    Reply Reply April 7, 2018

    Hi Adam,
    My name is Georgia. I have learned and I am still learning from you about men and relationships. March 12, 2018 was the last time I seen or heard from a man who we both agreed in the beginning to “see each other and see where things might go”.
    For me he literally was everything on my checklist of what I wanted or was looking for in a man.
    I don’t even remember how I came across you and Sexy Confidence in YouTube but I started watching everything you had posted. I followed all your guidelines such as not always being available whenever he wanted me to be … Etc. I feel my doing the things that you suggested I did let that man know that I’m not just some every day average floosy that he could come and get with whenever he wanted. Eventually it was obvious that he didn’t want anything more than just plain sex. He had no other interests in me what so ever. I was a bit sad/hurt at first but then it was what I agree with and we just didn’t work out. The last I seen and heard from him was March 12, 2018. I allowed time to pass the next following week. I didn’t hear from him. Then I made the decision that if I didn’t hear from him the following week that I wasn’t contacting him. I would go back to the dating site. I did go back to the dating site. I was back in the dating site for not even a full week yet. I was not sending messages to any men. I was responding or not to the men who contacted me. The Friday night before the following Saturday, which would be a full week since joining the dating site again … I was responding back to men’s messages that I had gotten. There are pictures of others who are in the dating site as you go through page by page or to see who looked at your profile, etc…
    There was one man’s profile picture that popped up a few times. He looked like someone I’ve known or at least have met or seen in my life at some point. I literally just kept looking at the one picture this man had in his profile in the dating site. Finally I just typed a message to him saying “Who are you? Why do I feel I know you somehow?”
    I didn’t realize he was online and in the dating site or he got notice of my message on his phone but he answered back right away. There wasn’t anything that we could have met or known each other in the past or otherwise. He eventually asked if I’d be interested in hanging out sometime. Me, being one who yes I want someone to spend time with but no I’m not seriously looking for a serious relationship at this time … I said “Yes. I would love to get together with you and hangout sometime”.
    We ended up meeting each other in person this past Sunday afternoon ..
    Easter I believe it was, lol
    I went to his place after work the following Monday evening.
    Prior to us agreeing on spending time with each other in the future I let him know that if we were to sleep together that I wouldn’t be going to bed with any other men but him. He answered back saying that he’s not a player so we were both on the same page with that. Once we were intimate with each other that evening I brought up the fact of letting it be known that I wasn’t planning on staying at his place forever, lol
    He said that No. He wasn’t going to kick me out, lol … I think things have gone well between myself and this man. He and I are communicating with each other where as the last guy I was seeing, he and I had no such communication.
    I don’t know if I’m right or wrong with where I’ve been going with these past two men.
    Feel free to use my situations as examples if need be 😁

  • M

    Reply Reply April 22, 2018

    hello Adam: Yes, I went the route about three years ago when I was 46 of being open with a man right on date 2. I told him I want to find a man who values matrimony. I could tell he was not that man from his reaction. I was distraught that yet another man interested in me is not interested in marriage. I felt desperate so seduced him the next chance available thinking after sex he would change his mind. It only created more tension in the relationship and I knew I had to leave him alone. But not soon enough because I am so sad a reduced myself to such a level to seduce him. I know from listening to you I have to know when I am wasting my time and to leave such a man alone as soon as I know he is not ever going to marry me and that nothing I do will change his mind.

  • Thu T Le

    Reply Reply April 22, 2018

    What if I broke up with my boyfriend 3 weeks ago?
    we started to talk to each other again after 1 week
    then I explained that our relationship could still work?
    but he denied. I have been trying to get him back. But I don’t think this is possible.
    I know that I used to turn on that switch in his mind. I used to make him feel like I’m the only one he wants to be with. He told me that himself and by his actions. But I didn’t show him enough of love so he left. But I have been trying to get him back, almost like begging. But as soon as I started to realize that I was being needy, I stopped. I told him I think that it’s time for me to stop trying, although I still love him. What should I do now?

  • Crystal

    Reply Reply April 23, 2018

    This guy knows that I like him. He told me that I am growing on him, and that he is gonna start spending more time with me. That has yet to be seen. We talk via text and phone calls, but no time spent together. I see my mistake of giving him things like food, me and my kids can be at a Chinese restaurant and this guy will text me asking what I am doing, when I tell him, he says oh I want some. So I will buy him some food and take it to him, only to get a hug and a thank you. At one point I went a couple of days without texting him or talking to him and he sends me a text saying um hello, did you forget me? I am so confused.

  • Kristin

    Reply Reply April 26, 2018

    I am guilty of the whole trying to pull the guy in while he want space…ive lost a few that way…but ive learned to stop doing that. If he doesn’t want to be with me its fine and I’ll be.okay with or without him.

    I love this program already…in the nick of time…timing couldn’t of been better as of right now.

    Thank you Adam!

  • Chrissy

    Reply Reply April 28, 2018

    This video really hit me hard. Apparently I look and fall for emotionally unavailable men and then I have this really great ‘relationship’ 🙄 where I drive (instead of letting him earn me) and when things start progressing and they get scared of commitment and we fall apart, I try to convince this guy to keep me (instead of setting my boundaries) and checking his investment.
    I’m learning how to value me and my time then let a guy earn me and my time. I never again want to be some guy’s doormat.

  • Rose

    Reply Reply May 5, 2018

    Hi Adam, at what point is the script too late to use?

  • guest

    Reply Reply May 6, 2018

    sure – its right down there below – plz stop saying that – because you try to manipulate your viewers – right down there below – I am sure about that.

  • Kama

    Reply Reply May 7, 2018

    Adam, you’re the best. So far have watched 2 of your amazing and insight videos. Slowly have started evaluating my behavior. I positive that my love life will change for the better.

  • Carole Anne Ritchie

    Reply Reply May 31, 2018

    Hey Adam,

    I love your videos! Thanks for sharing these. I started dating in January and thankfully I’m very open when I start seeing someone about what I what, and I like my own space, so at least I’m doing those things right.

    However I’ve recently met this guy who I think is wonderful. We’d been chatting since the end of January and finally met up at the weekend for dinner. He wanted to continue the night. I told him “he couldn’t win me over that easily” but I gave in! We had such an amazing time filled with laughs and we definitely shared a connection. We spent all Sunday and Monday together. Although I’m a bit worried that because i gave in and had sex with him that he’ll now just assume I do that with everyone. I told him straight off that I didn’t want a one night stand, but having slept with him, I feel I’ll have now sent mixed messages. Do you think I’ve ruined this already? Is there any point in me still setting my values re what I want at this stage. I’m not even sure how to approach it since we’ve already slept together. He texts me every day and he asked me on Monday if we could meet up this Sunday, so I guess that’s a positive. I always let him contact me first and usually wait a little before replying. I’ve (definitely learnt from mistakes I’ve made in the past through your videos!

  • Gina

    Reply Reply July 14, 2018

    I was in a casual relationship with a man I’ll call “J.” I could feel him slipping through my fingers, although we both felt a very strong connection more than just physically but mentally and spiritually too. I took Adam’s advice. I wrote a text with the 4 sentences I downloaded from this 3rd video. I was scared but I took a leap of faith.and guess what? He responded immediately (even though he was at work) and with open arms!! And now?! We are still enjoying and spending time together but at a much deeper level. He texts me each morning or calls when he’s not being a wonderful and loving father. During the day he texts or calls to tell me what he’s doing or when he’s at work. So Adam? I have a question? What if he’s recently divorced father? What if he is a semi-full time parent? We’ve talked openly about the situation together and we both feel it’s in their best interest to hold off from meeting them for awhile, at lest for right now. He spends time with me when they are in his care (he has a nanny)) after they are in bed and he returns from working as well as when he doesn’t have them. I have a full and healthy life without him and don’t feel the need to be with him at all times. We both give each other enough space to grow as individuals as well as with one another.r. My world doesn’t revolve around him and most importantly I know my worth and so does he!! Thank you for helping me, I really appreciate it!! Keep up the great work you’re doing for women of all ages. P.S. I’m 48 years old and finally can say I’ve finally after all these years found the “one!!”

  • Marcia

    Reply Reply August 4, 2018

    Hearing your wise words dear Adam,

    It is as if you’ve opened my brain and soul. Thus I have made mistake n.3 once. Then I cried for 7 years seeing the guy who then married to the next girl he met, because he took my shyness for a rejection. Also I have been making mistakes n.1 and n.2 all the time with my current “quasi-relationship”. I am too shy to take over and be real with him though… I prefer to lose him and not risk losing my pride… Your advice is TOP! How can I become stronger to be able to use your valuable quidelines? 🌹🌹 🌹 🌹

  • Lea

    Reply Reply August 7, 2018

    I met a guy online once. He initiated the conversation and we started talking. He was very interested and kept asking me out. I explained at the time I was not interested in dating but wouldn’t mind being friends having friendly conversations once in a while. We started connecting over the course of 3 months & we were living 3 hours apart from each other. So the drive to meet one day as we really started to like each other was intense. Her text me throughout the course of the day. As soon as he woke up to the time he went to bed. Things were great. Then one day we finally met. I went to visit him and we got it off great. We ended up spending the night together and then he slowly cut it off. Texts unanswered I was ghosted. I blamed myself and felt so rejected, trying to figure out what I did wrong. Then about 6 months later I sent him a text and he responded. He wanted to see me and we did and again sparks flew then again he ghosted me. This pattern continued one more time. Then a year went by we reconnected and I didn’t agree to go see him. We still text once a week and say hello, but his interest is wearing off. He invited me to visit and stsy, I explained that I like him a lot but don’t want to jump in so intensely and lunch or dinner would be a great start. He agreed. We have yet to do that and our text convos have gone dry. I’m confused…he seems interested, but the long distance and living a busy life in general just seems like we are just going to miss the opportunity. I wish it cpyod be like the way it was when we first met and I had his full attention. I try not to speak to bold or come off as too flirtatious because I want him to take me seriously and not as a fling, but I think the mistake of sleeping with him early on changed that perception. What should I do next? I’m afraid if we do meet up it will end in a fiery passionate date that will leave me being ghosted again. The chemistry is there but I want to c9nnect on a deeper level.

  • Vanessa

    Reply Reply August 8, 2018

    This all makes sense and I’m guilty of all 3. I find 1 hard to decipher sometimes but with the person I’m currently seeing – can’t say dating or in relationship as we don’t fall into either category but we’ve both admitted to each other we’re not seeing anyone else and are both wanting to see where this goes – we’re taking things slow – so slow it feels like molasses. I’m also guilty of number 2: I’m currently playing tug of war I pull one way he pulls back but if i give him space he wonders why I’m not reaching out (confused).
    Number 3 easier said than done as it requires vulnerability. I have sent him a video sharing my vulnerabilities but hard to do face to face…not running away just afraid of saying it face to face. So how do I overcome this fear?

    Lastly, when is the right time to give the speech? We haven’t been intimate (‘it will happen when it happens’ his words) HELP!!!

  • Silondiwe Magubane

    Reply Reply September 18, 2018

    Hi there!
    I really need HELP disparately, i started seeing this guy just over a month ago we in a long distance relationship soon after we officially became an exclusive couple he stopped calling all and texting so; I did what felt right at the time and dumped him, two days later I called him and asked him to take me back and he did about three days later after I had called.

    since then I’ve felt like I’m the only who initiates the conversations and calls, I recently went to visit him and see him for the first time since we became a couple (oh I forgot to mention that prior to us dating he had been percussing me for 8 years but I paid him no mind) i found a pair of earrings and I ONLY confronted him about the earrings I saw via Whatsapp text after I had left and he completely brushed me off, asked me and I quote “don’t start” and the conversation ended.

    its been two weeks with no word from him. i don’t know what to do or say to him Please help.

  • Patti

    Reply Reply October 7, 2018

    Great video! I have been following your advice and the man I met recently is becoming a real bf and not a one date and gone. I started out by telling him the same exact thing that was in this video. He is interested in me for who I am and says that I am the type girl he has been looking for. Life has taken a turn for the better. I’m now excited to see where this relationship goes from here! Thank you for caring.

  • Pamela

    Reply Reply October 30, 2018

    Doing it all wrong…

  • Susan

    Reply Reply October 30, 2018

    Adam- I think you are doing a great job with this program, but feel it is focused on younger women. I am older, very fit, stable, divorced after 30 years and continue to attract married men and men young enough to be my son. Where and how do women my age find and meet available men? That is what I find to be so very frustrating! Thanks!

  • Yokome Otu

    Reply Reply November 24, 2018

    Thanks so much Sir Adam for your inspiring videos. I’m currently in a relationship and your guidelines have been incredibly awesome cause my relationship has been going on so well that I’ve never in my life imagined. All my life, I’ve been having low self-esteem, scared to express my feelings. But since i came across your videos, i found a new me, I’m confident, I feel beautiful and I can express my feeling very well that it doesn’t hurt my boyfriends feeling. You are a God sent to women. May God give you more Grace to keep up with the good work.

  • Amy vd Merwe

    Reply Reply November 26, 2018

    I am guilty of all of these but to b honestest how do you be in a relationship with a person only over text i met this guy on fb, but we haven’t met yet, he keep on saying we well meet soon, but all the time he go with friends to places but never seems to get to me. We live about 100 km away . I don’t know what to do any more with this, I really like him, talked over the phone, etc. must i go on or just leave it. He keep saying to me he want’s me but then he keep inviting all this other ladies on his profile. I feel a bit unsure, and unhappy.
    I was married for 13 years and got out cos he was a druggy. after getting out of the marriage he got clean and now want’s to be my friend I am so confused with both.

  • Sara Tello

    Reply Reply February 11, 2019

    What were the 4 sentences?

  • Michelle Austin

    Reply Reply February 14, 2019

    Made all the mistakes. Especially, the running away when I get scared. I’m a fight or flight risk. I am struggling now with running. But I am sticking it out.

  • Jodie

    Reply Reply February 27, 2019

    I really enjoy Adam’s videos. I am learning a great deal about my mistakes I have made in the past. My current casual relationship is alittle different as I am trying to strike up a relationship from the past again. It’s been 10 yrs since we were together but remained friends through the 10 yrs, talking regularly on the phone, visiting each other etc was not intimate those 10yrs. This being said he feels insecure about me again wanting to be with him. Now a days , I never know for sure if I am pushing him away unsure how to handle different situations that present. I guess you could say i am “going with the flow”. It’s hard because I want to spend all our free time together and feel I can be pushing him away with my desires. Seems the less I say and do the more he tends to make time for me and visit with me. I did however tell him last week ..”I love to see you come but hate to see you leave”. I need help comforting his insecurities he has with me. I see the “mistakes” I made in the past and realize how I hurt him. Thanks Adam for all you advice.

  • Tammy

    Reply Reply February 28, 2019

    I have made some of these. Thanks this was a eye opener and I love it. Your awesome!

  • Mariela

    Reply Reply March 11, 2019

    Thank you for this video Adam. I really haven’t been on a real date since, I can’t even remember, cause I was on a real long relationship since I’m a teenager. So this is all new to me. I really want to get to know a good man and I want to commit and i want to get married, yes I feel like it’s time.

  • Carolyn

    Reply Reply March 14, 2019

    Thanks Adam,
    I have communicated over the year with a military colonel. I am being told he is real. He has video’s So other than only texting with him. He did ask me for $100 for food and medicine. He is always affectionate and told me about his two daughters and their pictures. I want to trust. I am 70 he is 45 but he says it’s only a number. How do I know if I am not with a scammer. He is on truthfinder and everything has checked out.
    Any advice.

    • Ellie

      Reply Reply March 28, 2019

      Please please, do not get involved with any man who asked for ANY money. Scam, so scram!!

  • jezabella

    Reply Reply March 17, 2019

    I met a guy through an intimate site, we had really explosive sex, and we also get along very well. He said that he wanted to get to know me without having sex, and I agreed, but he also said that he wanted me to date other guys, because he dosent want to hurt me. At first, I didnt give him space, and texted him too often. But then I discovered Adam…and I didnt text or call him for two days to see what would happen…and bang he texts me lol. He is now in Europe on holidays and even sent me a present, which I will probably recieve next week. Right now, I am only texting him if he texts me. I really want this guy, so Im giving him the space like Adam says and I think he will come back to me cause our attraction and connection is very strong.

  • Namagembe Sharifah

    Reply Reply March 22, 2019

    Oh My God Adam, Yo so right I’ve been in this type of relationship my nigga I think all he care abt z sex he don’t want to know more abt me he doesn’t even want to know where I leave I’m always da one to initiate to see him ,the more I try to get close to him I think he doesn’t love but I love him I’m literally hurting

  • Ellie

    Reply Reply March 28, 2019

    Hi Adam, just found your Casual to Committed videos, love, love, them by the way. I must say that your videos got me to re evaluate my thinking about the type of guy I really want. I just never valued myself enough to give the guy the chance to earn, or work for my attention. I recently started dating this guy and allowing him to take me out on dates. He is really investing his time and resources into pursuing me and I, for the first time, am really enjoying the slower pace. I am letting HIM set the pace as far as setting the next date night, phone calls ect… really letting him miss me like you brought out in your second video. I have a question, he is kinda hinting that he wants to be boyfriend and girlfriend, said he had a conversation with his buddy at work about me and he said the buddy asked him when he is finally going to find a girlfriend, he kinda just left it at that. I really didn’t know how to respond to that, so I just changed the subject. I really want him to set the pace, but don’t want him to think I don’t want more without seeming too eager. Hoping to get some advice. Thanks in advance

  • Jay

    Reply Reply May 9, 2019

    I totes make those mistakes and so over it.

    Need a blue print asap! For the rest of my life!

    Really taking a minute to think about everything I want.

    Thanks a mil

  • Sue ♡

    Reply Reply May 10, 2019

    Thank you so much for your Ultimate love game changer tips. You are amazing and I m learning more and growing inside me every time i watch a new video. I declare to give my man space when he needs it . You have changed my Relationship in a short while .Looking forward to the nxt video.Thank you so much stay blessed.

  • Margaret

    Reply Reply May 28, 2019


    I like the script at the end. It’s hard to say. Especially if you just don’t know what kind of reception it will receive, if it’s early and you are not even sure how the man feels about you in the first place.

  • Ronique

    Reply Reply September 16, 2019

    Good one Coach!

    • Happiness

      Reply Reply October 26, 2019

      What of if we’ve been together for so long as long as 6 years and broke it off because of some issues can your this program still work on him?

  • Rose

    Reply Reply May 15, 2020

    Thanks this video really helped, now I know what to do and say to make him commit…. You are a God sent thanks

  • Marni

    Reply Reply May 20, 2020

    I never make those three mistakes and have actually been honest and seriously, my statements are SO close to those four sentences… but I keep getting played anyway. 🙁

  • Yvonne

    Reply Reply June 10, 2020

    Hi Adam,honestly these videos are changing my life,I’ve been doing these mistakes my entire life but now I know what to do,I hope I will find my one soon

  • Jennifer Richardson

    Reply Reply December 9, 2020

    When he said he needed space I said I would give it to him but the minute he called or came over or got in touch with me I was right back there instead of sticking to what I said I wanted or who I said I was and look at where it got me by myself because he’s still doing his thing and he still has all the space in the world and I’m alone and he dates whoever whenever and does whatever he wants

* Denotes Required Field